On Wednesday, January 13, 2021, I lost my grandmother, Hazel Dale. I tried to think of the best way I could honor her life and honestly, just telling you about her is the perfect way for me. You see, my grandmother lived a full yet simple life. Her wardrobe wasn't extravagant, she wasn't high maintenance nor did she desire frivolous things, a great day to her involved a visit to the bingo hall; she was easy like Sunday morning. She was in love with one man her entire life and she never longed for anyone else. She loved her children unconditionally and no matter who you were her door was always opened. I admired her mighty yet quiet spirit.
I loved her chocolate skin, her small frame, and her sassy clap-back. As I reflect on last year: 2020 was rough and I know this to be true for my grandma specifically. She spent her days indoors only going out for dr. appts, I'm convinced that sped up her death. She could no longer have family over, visit the bingo hall, and enjoy the company of visitors. She was confined to the walls of her home. I would spend time with her on the phone and we would reminisce about papa and our calls always ended with an I love you. She never complained, she was easy like Sunday morning.
With grandma, I've never had to question where her love stood for me or my brother. When my father was incarcerated she loved us. When my mother dropped us off, she loved us and when people were cruel and mean she loved us. Throughout this grieving process, there have been times when I felt like I could have done more. I could have called more, I could have gone by more, and I could have told her that I loved her more but the truth is my grandma didn't require that from me. She was genuinely happy and proud of the woman that I had become.
But is that enough? I digress. Losing a loved one is extremely hard and the emotions are up and down. You try your best to push past the pain but it is still there hovering. I don't know that my life will ever be the same but what I do know is that my grandma is reunited with her best friend, my grandfather Ellis, may both of their souls rest in love.
Life isn't about what you have, what you wear, who's invited or the money you have obtained. Life is about loving your family unconditionally, pushing past the conflict and the pain, and making an effort to see people at their core. My grandma was the epitome of this, as a child she reminded me all time that it wasn't her job to buy me things but yet love me unconditionally. And just like each Sunday morning, I appreciate her.
Thank you Grandma for being you.
Kiara aka Puk Puk
-- To my aunt Kayla, if you are reading this. There are going to be days when you feel lost, sad, and confused. But it is my hope that you will remember how grandma fought for you as a child, she made sure that you had the best life that you could possibly have. She loved you more than anything in this world and I honestly, know that she is proud of you. You did the best you could for her and I always want you to remember that. I want you to remember that you are more than a conqueror and you can do anything that you put your mind to.
You are an amazing mom, caregiver & aunt.
- Kiara