What My Grandmother wanted, What I needed: Adjusting to another New Normal
This past week has been extremely hard for me because of the passing of my grandmother. Like marriage and motherhood, there is no book that can fully prepare you for the death of a lost loved one. I remember calling my husband when I arrived in Arkansas and sharing with him that I wanted to take something away from my trip and the death of my grandmother.
And while I haven't quite figured it out yet, I do realize that my grandmother's simple life just wouldn't be what she wanted for me. She was fascinated by the stories I shared with her, she loved to hear about how Miles was thriving and how my husband loved me. She was genuinely happy that I was able to explore life's highs and lows without boundaries or restrictions. I am convinced that my life is totally opposite from hers because it needed to be, I needed it to be.
There is an excitement that I get when I can explore different parts of the world and my grandmother was content in her small city. I get excited when I get to eat at different restaurants and my grandmother would much rather have a meal at home. We were totally opposite but yet and still I admired her. I admired the fact that she was content, that she was satisfied. My desire for myself is fueled by her contentment.
We don't have the commonality of desires but we do share is our love for Jesus, our love for another, her mighty spirit, and the blood that runs through our veins. I am forever grateful for the time spent with her. And I always cherish each and every moment.
On the way home to North Carolina, I received a call that one of my cousins died in a car accident the day after my grandmother's funeral. I had the opportunity to see Breunna (Pluck) a few times before my return home. Grateful for our time spent together and the opportunity to see her before she departed this earth. May God continue to be with my family as we walk through another death.
Time will heal,